Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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