so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize