Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
