She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize