Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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