In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
