Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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