So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
