I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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