I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
