very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
sarcasm needs its own font
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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