from now on my penis is your penis
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
