So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
ttyl tear gas
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
