Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize