He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
