Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
