Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
