somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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