Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
