I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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