shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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