Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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