That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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