And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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