I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
