a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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