We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
What drink are we having for lunch?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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