Well apparently he's into motor boating.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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