It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
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