I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
