clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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