lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
