So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
