could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize