We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
