you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
