so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
