i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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