I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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