last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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