I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
