I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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