how can u be prego again
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
