Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
