I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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