you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
