We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
