I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
