Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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