I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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