you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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