Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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