you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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