THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
