some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize