he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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