Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
