Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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