The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
